Getting Past Self-Doubt

Let’s talk about one of the most challenging things we face daily; yes, you’re right – self-doubt! Self-doubt is that nagging voice in our heads that tells us that we’re not good enough. It gets me on a daily. It gets in my head and tells me I’m not good enough, smart enough, talented enough, I don’t belong, I need to learn more or gather more information, I’m not intelligent enough, I’m a fraud or gets me thinking everyone else has got their shit together except me. Yes, that voice. It’s a constant conflict! The more I accomplish, the more I feel like I’m a fraud – living in constant fear of being found out. Hello, imposter syndrome! – something we’ve all experienced at some junction in our lives. And don’t even get me started on the anxiety this all brings. Self-doubt can be a barrier to personal growth and happiness. It can hold us back from pursuing our dreams, taking risks, and achieving our goals. Finding strategies to fight that voice and tell it to just shut up and go away is something I’m learning to help me overcome self-doubt when it creeps into my head and help me develop confidence towards stepping outside my comfort zone.

One thing I’ve learned to help me overcome self-doubt is to identify the root cause. What’s causing me to doubt myself? Is it related to a particular experience or relationship? Is it based on past failures or negative self-talk? Is it something I’ve internalised? Once I understand the root cause of my self-doubt, I can address it directly. Remember what Freud said: we’re all products of our childhood traumas or life experiences. What’s lurking in your subconscious that is controlling your behaviour?
Another thing I do is challenge my negative and irrational thoughts and beliefs. What negative self-talk is contributing to my self-doubt? What is that critical inner voice telling me? Is it telling me I’m not smart, good enough, or a failure? I learned to challenge those negating thoughts – are they based on facts or assumptions? I look for evidence that disproves them. That usually will shut the voice up for a while!

Next, I set small, realistic, and, most importantly, achievable goals to help build self-confidence and reduce self-doubt. I break big goals into smaller, more manageable steps and then focus on making progress rather than perfection. I try not to beat myself up when I miss a tiny step or encounter setbacks or failure – I remind myself that failure is part of the learning process and every setback is an opportunity to learn and grow. Start small and work your way up. Every minor achievement is a confidence booster to help you work towards that next step. Celebrate every win, no matter how small.

I surround myself with positivity, with people who believe in me and support my goals, no matter how ridiculous they may sound. Who is in my inner circle? Am I in the midst of toxic friends or nay-sayers? Am I surrounded by people who don’t celebrate me or my little wins? At the moment, I’m talking to a few close friends and family for support. Still, it’s about time I sought personal therapy or a life coach to help me gain a better perspective and to develop other strategies for overcoming self-doubt. Surrounding yourself with positive people and being in positive and supportive environments can do wonders for boosting self-confidence. Who is in your inner circle? Spend time with friends who support and encourage you, and avoid people who bring you down. Let people prove themselves worthy of entering your circle, and make sure the stakes are pretty high! Remember that famous ‘Delete’ button? – Yes, that one, BE trigger happy! Who you spend your time with influences how you feel about yourself. If you don’t have people in your inner circle who believe in you, uplift you, encourage and support you, then it’s high time you find yourself a new circle!

Self-doubt does not reflect who we are, our worth or our abilities. Despite the negating voices in our heard, we’re all capable of achieving great things. We must believe in ourselves and our abilities and work on taking small steps towards our goals. A vital marker to take away is that self-doubt affects many of us. It can be challenging, but it’s possible to overcome it one day at a time by practising self-compassion, getting to the bottom of the cause, taking small actions and surrounding ourselves with people who encourage and uplifts us!

I’m still learning, but I’m making progress! What strategies do you use to battle that nagging voice that says you’re not good enough? Do share!

Thanks a bunch for reading!